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Have you ever been to a point in your life where you feel as if you there is nothing left in life to fight for? Do you have a feeling that sometimes you feel like nobody is on your side but you? I was talking to somebody today and she was at a point of desperation, a point where she feels like breaking, a point where there is no coming back. I have been in the same situation, not too long ago myself. 

From my experience, it takes a place of desperation in our lives until we really scream out for help, until we really decide that we no longer want to sit in the same position that we are currently sitting in. It takes so much out of people to get out of the places that we are in, a real place of desperation. Mentally you can't handle it, emotionally you are about to completely break, physically it has weighed you down so much that your body can't handle it. Headaches, sickness all because of the stress of life that surrounds you..

 I have been through so much in the last year, I hit rock bottom. From jobs, to friends, to just my lifestyle. And when I almost lost my life I was at the lowest of lows that for just for a brief moment I thought being taken from this world would have been the best thing for me. But i know im not the only person who has ever felt that way. Bills, family, friends, jobs. Just everything in general at the point i was at and the stage I was in that life couldn't get any worst than it already was, and would not get any better than i had already seen.

But little did I know that God had a lot of things in store for me in the near future. I learned that a lot of things we do in our lives we cause the problems ourselves, the issues we have, the relationship problems, the money problems, the friendships, we always try to find something else to drop the blame on but ourselves. I realized that I had to get back to me, that in order to get to the place that I wanted to be, I needed to get in the position that God wanted me to be in. And boy does he know how to catch your attention. Sometimes God has to strip us of everything that we were so focused on in order to get our attention. Sometimes we place material things and people before God and we forget who God is to us and what He has consistently done for us.

Never lose your confidence on who you are as a person, sometimes in life we have to walk away and walk alone. We have to stand up to stand out. We may lose people and if people is your focus then you have lost sight of who you are. I will say this that there is a blessing at the bottom of every barrel.

You have to go to the bottom of the barrel before you decide that you need to get to where you have to be. In order for God to work in you he has to completely strip you of everything that is stopping you from getting to the top of the mountain. You can not go to the top of the mountain weighed down full of mess. At times when you are in the middle of losing everything that you thought was so dear to you then you will learn that it was never of any importance in your life.

Time to start thinking about your future and time to start thinking about the things that you want in life and the places that God has called you to. Losing friends, losing family, and losing everything that you thought was of utmost importance will get you to the place of desperation that God needs you to be to see his face..

Love yourself and make sure that you are the number one priority in your life.. Never get so consumed by what surrounds you that you want to give up, life is about continuing to fight, the sin is not in growing weary, the sin is in giving up.. So don't give up... Continue to push towards Greatness.

Jeremiah 29:11 (New Living Translation)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Dying to Live

Have you ever woke up in the morning, and just didn't feel like being here? Have you ever found yourself in so much mess that you just thought about taking yourself out of this world? I mean truly with no thought of what people would think, no thought about friends or family or anything else that you would be leaving behind! How many people truly share their story to help anybody else.

I thought about committing suicide. Was a few moments from looking dead at hell, because that's where i would have been going if i would have been able to pull the trigger. And i'm real, I have nothing to hide from everybody. But I never knew when i woke up by the end of that evening, i would be going through all i had gone through. From waking up with a smile, to going to sleep with people watching over me!

But My purpose on this earth was not complete. God did not allow me to leave here because my work was not completed. Have you ever realized that there is purpose in your pain. There is purpose in your story. Their is purpose behind every breath that you are given to take. God will not allow you to quit early when there is still work for you to do, there is still a lot of people and lives that you could impact. Never be ashamed to tell your story. You're not the only one hurting, you're not the only one in pain and the only one going through. But you are the one that can make an impact so that nobody else will finish what you didn't.

If my suicide attempt would have been successful, then who wlbe here to encourage others that may be facing what i thought would defeat me? Who would be around to tell my success story? You have to think about things like that in advance. But God will not allow you to go anywhere when he has well abled you to finish everything you were called to do.

"For Many are Called, but few are Chosen"  Matthew 22:14

But seriously don't ever think you know what people are going through and when. Because at one point i was the same person that said there couldn't be that much hell in the world that somebody would want to take their own life. And it's really not, take every breath you get as a reason to want to breathe. Because while some people choose to take their lives others lose theirs daily..

God knows i'm not perfect but he still thinks i'm to die for. And if He can die for me, I can live for him. Love the life that you have and enjoy every bit of what God has given you. Your purpose is not fulfilled until God says so, so no matter what you do and how you choose to screw it up or think that it is going to be screwed up, God still has a way of his purpose to be fulfilled through you. Remember that

Jeremiah 29:11

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Never be scared to share your story, Your test will be used as your testimony